


3:34am

by berrysck



Category: Once Upon a Time RPF
Genre: Jennifer Morrison - Freeform, Lana Parrilla - Freeform, M/M, Morrilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 19:49:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10793565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrysck/pseuds/berrysck
Summary: Sometimes a text can change everything.





	3:34am

**Author's Note:**

> One shot.
> 
> This is a Morrilla fic, I wasn't going to post it but my best friend wanted me to, so there we go. If that's not your thing, ignore and don't waste your time leaving hateful comments.
> 
> YO.

"I miss you.

After everything, I still miss you. Everyday before I close my eyes I try to understand why, I try to see things in a reasonable way, but I never get answers. I just miss you.

Today though, I missed you more than I usually do. I woke up and I felt a warm by my side that wasn't coming from you and it's crazy how sometimes your body just crave for someone. I got ready to the insane day I'd have ahead of me and suddenly all I could do was think about how we used to do this together.

How we would stay in the same hotel and wake up with our legs entangled, how we would get ready and how I would leave to the convention center while you'd go elsewhere because we would never do it on the same day. They would never let us, except for Comic Con but that's not a memory I'm ready to remember, not yet.

Anyway, I miss how things used to be and I thought things would get easier with time, but I was wrong. Damn, I was so wrong.

I thought having Julie preventing people from asking SwanQueen related questions would stop my mind from running straight to you, but it was impossible. 

And then everything went to shit.

Today I was in my panel and everything was as normal as it could be. The same questions as always - Who would you like to play? Who's your favorite character? - and nothing was remotely disturbing. Well, that's until two girls dressed as Emma and Regina showed up.

I couldn't show how panicked I was and I certainly couldn't be rude, not after what happened because of the "do you want to answer the question or do you want me to answer the question?" episode. I was so nervous about what they were going to ask and I was even more nervous by the fact the blonde girl looked so much like you.

And that's when the unimaginable happened.

The Regina one - Tilda - asked a question, but it wasn't for me: she asked if Emma (who's really called Emma, by the way) would marry her.

And my heart just sank.

She proposed and everyone went nuts and they hugged and kissed and I cried. Yes, I cried. I bet my life people will soon talk about how I got emotional over the fact I impacted their lives and how important I am, but will they ever see, and not just look?

Will they ever understand that when I cried, it wasn't because they were getting engaged and at the same time it was _exactly_ because they were getting engaged?

Because they were the ones getting engaged, and not me?

Or because I was engaged once but not with the person I wanted to be?

When that girls kissed all I felt was the pain of knowing it could have been us. How it could have been me proposing and then you giving the brightest smile. It could be us in front of all of those people, saying how much we loved each other and thanking them for all the support. It could be us shocking everyone, it could be us making the news and it could be you freaking out for a second because you're as private as someone could be.

It could be me apologizing for making that public and it could be us kissing again while you would tell me to shut up because it didn't really matter, we were finally together.

It could be us going back to the hotel and locking the door. It could be us taking our clothes off and it could be me kissing every inch of your body, running my tongue everywhere, kissing you with all the love in the world, making you remember why we were there. It could be you putting your arms around me and molding our bodies together while I drew small patterns in your thigh. It could be us whispering "I love you" before falling asleep, dreaming about the future we were going to build together.

It could be us.

But it wasn't. And now it's never going to be.

I miss you, Jennifer. I know it doesn't change anything, I know what I did. I wronged you in so many ways and I'm so sorry - for not being brave enough, for giving up, for letting you go, for letting us go.

Never in a million years I'm gonna find someone like you and never in a million years I'm gonna find someone who's gonna make me feel as you did. As you do.

But it's just how life is, isn't it? We make mistakes and we regret them and all we can do is watch the consequences.

Not that the consequences are that bad, right? I mean, you're happy. You have everything. I know you do, and if you're happy then I'm happy too.

I just... I just needed to tell you that I wish you were here. I wish you were by my side right now.

Because I still love you, Jenny.

I'm always going to love you.

 _Always_."

Lana wiped the tears off her face and stared at the small screen of her phone. The text was so long and still not nearly enough. The "send" button was glowing, almost begging for her to touch it, but she couldn't.

The tears kept coming and her heart ached. The empty spot by her side spread guilt.

Then she looked down and read everything again. And before she could see what she was doing, she started deleting everything until there were only three words left.

* * *

 

It was 3:34 when Lana felt her phone buzzing. It was brief, which meant it was a text.

With her eyes barely open and an intense headache, she unlocked it and opened the app. Her vision was blurred, but it didn't keep her from reading the message.

It was a small phrase that, little did she know, were going to change everything:

" _I miss you too_ ".


End file.
